The Hospital: An Open Pen Critique

Hullo, everyone! Gabrielle over at Write For The King has posted a short snippet of mine for a sort of group critique called Open Pen. I’d love to have all of you critique it as well! Hope you enjoy!

Write for the King

Our first critique is from proverbs31teen who blogs over at The World of the Writer. She is looking for what we like and dislike about the piece, along with any improvement suggestions.

If you happen upon this page, I know that Bri would love for you to give your opinion on her work. Your critique doesn’t have to be long, but I know it would be appreciated 😉

Thanks for letting us read your work, Bri,  and I hope that you find these critiques helpful!

If you would like a piece of your own work critiqued, please head over to the tab, Open Pen, or you can click on the link here.

I hear the whir of the hospital’s automatic door opening and feel my way out with the cane. A cold breeze bites into my skin when I step onto the sidewalk outside, and I inhale deeply. It smells cold…

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Giveaway Winner And A Few Other Things

Hullo, everyone! In case you missed it, yesterday was my blogiversary!!! *throws confetti and sprinkles* As you may have noticed, I hosted a little giveaway for a PDF copy of my novella, Paralyzed Dreams. And I am here to announce the winner.

But before that, let me tell you how I decided the winner. Because suspense and stalling, of course.

I wrote all the contestants’ names down on slips of paper and then put them into my wonderful Avengers cup.

avengerscup

This is clearly an animation or drawing, not a real cup, but hey, it’s the same as mine. And it’s all I could find.

Then I shook it up…

A lot…

Okay, fine. The winner is…

Claire B.

*throws confetti, glitter, and sprinkles towards Claire* Yay!!! I hope you’ll enjoy!

Now for the “other things” mentioned in the title.

1. THE DEADLINE IS COMING UP FOR THE JUNE CONTEST! Hurry and get your entries in!

2. My friend Daisy over at The Bookish Flower is hosting a contest, too! Hers ends on the eighth, so you’ve got a little more time than for mine. So go check it out!

3. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned it before, but I got a Goodreads account! Go ahead and follow me, friend me, and add my book to your shelves. 😉

And that is all for today, friends! *bows* Until next time!

Tales From The Writer’s Desk: Blogiversary Bash

Warning: Craziness follows. For more information about characters, click the links provided. 😉 Enjoy!!!

“So… why are we here?” Slade asks. He leans back in the chair, arms behind his head.

I gape at him. “What?”

“Why was I dragged here?” Slade says, raising an eyebrow.

“We didn’t drag you here,” Wilson says, plopping down in another chair nearby. “We said, ‘Come on, there’s going to be cake,’ and you came.”

“And I haven’t seen any cake.” Slade leaned forward. “You didn’t lie to me, did you?”

Iris leans against my desk. “Bri said there would be cake,” she says. All eyes turn to me.

“Um.” This is a tough position. “I think all of you might have misunderstood. While there will most likely be birthday cake, as long as Adelyn doesn’t make… er, attempt to make… it, I-I wasn’t talking about cake the food. I was talking about Cake the person.”

Silence. “You–” Ellis stutters. “There’s a person named Cake?”

“Blame Adelyn,” I grumble. “She’s the one who gave him the nickname when he wouldn’t tell her his name.”

“I’m more concerned about the apparent lack of food cake,” Slade says, looking very upset.

Haven stands up. “I can take care of that.”

I give her a grateful smile and she ducks her head shyly before turning to leave the room. Benedict comes in, and I point towards a seat. “Sit,” I command. “You don’t need to work. This is a party. Everyone can show themselves in here.”

He sits down reluctantly, and Iris leans forward, eyes sparkling. “So, this Cake guy. Does he have a real name?”

I make a face. “He says he does, but he won’t tell me, so sometimes I wonder.”

The door opens and Adelyn walks in, followed by Cake, Jet, and Chase, her story companions. “I can’t believe you’ve been around for a whole year,” Adelyn says, giving me a present.

“Uh, it’s not my birthday,” I say, face turning red.

“Yeah, but it’s the blog’s, and it’s pretty much the same thing,” Adelyn insists. “Besides, I burned the cake.” She looks around the room at everyone. “Well, this is our first time here. I can’t believe it! It’s so cool. I meant to talk to you about an interview, Bri,” she hints.

I clear my throat, but I’m interrupted as the door opens again. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got the next turn,” Chloe says, walking in. Her cane taps slowly against the floor, and Benedict helps her find a chair. Melissa rolls in after her, parking her wheelchair next to Chloe’s chair. There’s a slight tap at the door as it starts to close and then Pam rolls in.

“Yay for the only one whose story is actually finished and published,” Slade grumbles, giving me a pointed look.

Pam’s cheeks redden. “Are you almost finished typing up our post-book interview?” she asks me.

Now my face is hot. “Um. Getting close, yes.” I stand up quickly. “Since we’re obviously limited on space, you all are the only ones I’ve invited.”

“Yay, no Marba!” Ellis says, grinning.

“I don’t have a villain,” Pam says, frowning.

“Same.” Chloe shifts in her chair. “Or do you just mean that you didn’t invite my mom? She’s not exactly a villain.”

“Um.” Abstract villains? “Technically your conflicts are internal. But that doesn’t matter now, why don’t we just enjoy ourselves?”

Haven walks in carrying a cake, and Slade leaps up to hold the door for her. I’m not sure if it’s because of the cake or Haven. I hide a smile. “How did you even make it that fast?” Iris says, eyes wide.

Haven smiles and sends me a wink. “I came prepared.” She’s always thinking ahead, of course, and she probably decided to bring a cake, just in case.

We set the cake down in the middle of my desk, which is cleaned off for once. Everyone gathers around, and Benedict and I blow out the candles. I roll my eyes at him, but he just smiles.

Slade reaches for the cake. “This is mine, okay? You guys can find your own…”

I smack his hands away and pick up the knife. “Who wants a slice?”

Here’s to a full year of writerly blogging! And free cake for all you wonderful followers! Oh… and a giveaway! Comment below and you’ll be entered for a chance to win a PDF copy of Paralyzed Dreams!

Make sure to use a valid email address when commenting, as this is how I’ll send the book.

The Hills of Innocence Trilogy Blog Tour

Hullo, everyone! Today I’m participating in the blog tour for the first book in the Hills of Innocence Trilogy by Willowy Whisper, The Innocent. I picked this book up on Amazon almost right after it was published, and I was so excited by how awesome it was! I’ll stop rambling and get on with the review… although I may or may not ramble in the review. 😉

The Innocent 2

I have never been a big fan of Western books.

I’ve figured out that this is because most Western books I’ve read fit into one of two categories: school-ish historical fiction or romance. Neither of those are my type, and most of the ones I’ve read are horribly cliché, as well.

But this one… sure, it has some romance, but it’s a Western mystery! And that, my friends, was what hooked me from the start.

The book jumps right into the action. While our main character, Harvey, is investigating, Willowy gives us little hints to unravel ourselves. If you pay attention, you can figure it out before the characters do! I sort of did, although it was more like a very, very strong guess. 😉 And I was right!

The Innocent had me hooked from the very beginning, and I seriously only put it down once. I found the characters memorable and intriguing, and the plot was absolutely wonderful. I really enjoyed all the twists and turns, and I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a fun, fast-paced read!

Add it on Goodreads

Buy on Amazon

See the rest of the blog tour participants

Avengers’ Isle: Together At Last

AvengersIsle2

Hullo! I totally forgot to post this picture with last week’s episode, made in partnership with myself and writefury! Okay, I confess, all I did was the text. She did all the hard work. 😉 No, I still haven’t seen Age of Ultron. But I did watch one of the trailers again, but with a little twist. 😄 Okay, back to business. DID YOU NOT LOVE LAST WEEK’S REVEAL? If you need to get caught up, see past posts here.

Tony frowned. He had no idea who this guy was, but he sure didn’t seem like a SHIELD agent. Not that he cared. He was just glad everyone was alive. Well, almost everyone.

He bent down and picked up the red, white, and blue shield reverently. He and Cap hardly ever saw eye-to-eye – scratch that, never – but Cap had been the best man Tony had ever known. And Tony’s last words to the soldier had been angry. How could Cap have been the only one not to make it?

“Tony?” Natasha placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. Loki was untying Thor, and the two were deep in conversation. The others were gathering where Tony was.

“He was a good man,” Tony said, tapping the shield lightly. Natasha nodded in agreement. Banner looked sad. Tony held out his hand and they shook hands. Science buddies back together again. Tony looked over at the guy with the metal arm, Bucky, who was grinning. “What?” Tony asked, frowning. “This isn’t a joke.”

“Not to you,” Bucky said, trying to make his face serious, but his mouth kept twitching. He took the shield from Tony and laid it on the ground. He slammed his metal fist into it, and the sound rang loud through the forest, making the two Asgardians jump in surprise.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing?” Tony snapped, lunging for the shield.

Bucky pulled it out of his reach. They heard approaching footsteps, running at a ridiculous speed. “I thought that would be loud enough to get his attention,” Bucky said, running a finger along the edge of the shield.

Steve Rogers slid to a stop at the edge of the circle. He was barely breathing hard as he looked around. “Well,” he said. “And here I came to rescue Thor.” Then he caught sight of Bucky. “Bucky, I–”

“No time,” Bucky said quietly. “We should get out of here while we’ve got the chance.” He glanced over at Red Skull. “I think he’s gone – for good – but we should bring him with us anyway. And Barton.”

“I want a full report and explanation,” Fury said firmly, staring Bucky down.

“As soon as we’re out of here,” Bucky replied, staring back at him.

They gathered up all of weapons they might need, although Bucky said that the natives would be glad to see them leaving. Bucky picked up Barton, and Thor picked up Red Skull. Bucky led the way through the forest, towards the center of the island.

“So, do you have a boat or something?” Tony asked skeptically, nearly tripping over a tree root.

“Something,” Bucky grunted, barely managing to keep Barton from hitting his head on a tree.

“What kind of something is it?” Tony pestered him.

“You’ll see,” Bucky said. “Unless you keep asking questions.”

Tony shut his mouth and drifted to the back of the line with Thor, Loki, and panting Banner. He couldn’t believe how easy it was for Natasha and Rogers to make it through the thick undergrowth. Even Fury was handling it easily.

They stepped into a huge, empty clearing. Tony gazed around at the circle of green grass, then up at the bright blue sky. “So what now? We wait for a helicopter to pick us up?”

Bucky handed Barton to Steve and pulled a remote looking thing out of his pocket. He pressed a button on it, and right before their eyes, a Quinjet appeared. Tony sighed when he realized it had been cloaked. That was most assuredly cheating.

Bucky turned to Natasha. “It’s all yours.”

Yay! Looks like we’re on our way to a happy ending, finally! But they’re not safe yet… Like for a bag of trail mix, comment for a piece of (late) Tony Stark birthday cake! (It’s not too stale yet…)

June Contest: Picture Perfect Writing Challenge

Hello, everyone! I’m ready to announce the June contest! We had a great response to last month’s contest, and boy, you guys did not make it easy. 😀 Wonderful job! I’m hoping we’ll be able to do that one again in the future. Special thanks to everyone who participated! Now to announce the winners:

Picture 1 – The Old Man

M3L6H!

Picture 2 – Reflection Girl

Myliana by Bianca C.!

Picture 3 – Little Sunset Girl

Camille by Writinganyone!

All of them were super close, guys! Great job! And for those of you who won, I’ll be stopping by your blogs and giving you a winners button (and a virtual slice of celebratory cake). I’ll also be giving all participants their scores. Thanks to all of our contestants for participating! Check out the other posts: Aubrey, Willowy Whisper, Writefury, and Sprinklesquink. You guys all did amazing!

Now, on to the next contest!

June2015Contest

In the Picture Perfect Writing Challenge, contestants will write a story of less than 1,000 words based off of one of three pictures. Winners will be judged on creativity, plot, characters, and use of the picture. Any inappropriate entries will be disqualified.

I’ve got some cool pictures, so let’s get started!

The Pictures

Picture 1

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 2

Picture 3

Picture 3

The Rules

1. Maximum amount of entries is one per picture.

2. To submit, post your short story, with the contest button (above) and your chosen picture, and put a link to your submission in the comments belowOR, if you do not have a blog, you can submit your piece through the contact form on the Talk To The Writer page. (If you post your submission, tag it with “Picture Perfect Writing Challenge” and “The World of the Writer”.)

3. The deadline is June 30th, 2015!!!

Are you planning on participating? What do you think of the pictures? I hope to see your entry this month!

Got an idea for a contest? Submit it using the Talk to the Writer page.