Did you know that Hershey’s Bars were first invented in 1900?!?! The things you learn from writing research! This is a short story I wrote for an English assignment based off a news story I wrote for Creative Writing. If you’re nerdy like me, you might recognize these names right off the bat. If not, don’t worry. You’ll find out at the end. Enjoy, and I’d love to hear your opinions!
—
“That’ll be ten dollars and ninety five cents,” the young girl behind the counter told him. Timothy Dugan slid the money to her, and picked up his snacks. Most truck stops along the route he and James Montgomery Falsworth, better known as Montgomery or Major, were taking had reasonable prices. This one, not so much. Timothy settled his portly frame down on a bench near the door, waiting for Montgomery to join him. The sky outside the front windows was black, pitch black, with dark clouds covering the moon. The harsh lights from inside the convenience glinted off the shiny silver 1951 Mercedes-Benz he and Montgomery had rented. It was only a couple years old.
Timothy opened his Hershey bar, smoothing his mustache away from his mouth. He wasn’t a big fan of chocolate, but it was one of the cheapest things in the store. The wrapper cheerily proclaimed the fiftieth anniversary of Hershey bars. The bell on the front door jingled and Timothy just caught a glimpse of the two darkly-dressed men as they walked past him. He looked outside and saw their car parked next to the rental. He couldn’t help admiring the dark lines of their small car, but he couldn’t see the make of the car or the license plate number.
He heard Montgomery whistling as the bathroom door slammed shut, and then the whistling stopped abruptly. Timothy looked up to see the taller of the two men pointing a gun at Montgomery’s back. A cold hand yanked Timothy off the bench and the short, fat man pointed a gun at Timothy. A holdup. Hope this doesn’t become the last day of the road trip.
“Give us the money from the cash register,” the taller man ordered. Both men had their faces covered, and were wearing long sleeves and gloves. Timothy pitied the frightened girl, who looked like she was only in her twenties. Timothy glanced at Montgomery. Here they were, two World War II veterans, and not only that, but two who had served next to the best captain in the army, and they were unable to do anything to help stop a robbery.
The girl opened the cash register and handed off the money to them. “This one’s for you, Rogers,” Timothy whispered. He shoved his elbow into his captor’s stomach. The man doubled over, letting go of Timothy and the gun, but he recovered quick enough to race outside, his partner covering for him and picking up the dropped gun. The tall man studied them. “Stay at the back of the room and don’t try anything, or you’ll regret it.” Then he disappeared out the door and into the car outside, which roared to life and sped down the road.
Timothy immediately reached for the phone and called the police, alerting them to what happened. Montgomery patted his shoulder. “Well done, Dugan. Rogers would’ve been proud.”
Timothy smiles at his friend, rubbing his red moustache. He missed his old nickname. Montgomery hadn’t called him Dum Dum since the plane crash. “He would’ve done better. But I’m not a super soldier.” The police filed into the building, getting their testimonies and contact information. Then they let them go, and the two veterans headed back onto the open road.
—
Still don’t know who our World War II veterans are? Dum Dum and the Major, two members of Captain America’s “barbershop quartet”! Surprise!
Question: are your characters aware they’re being written about? Because in the second paragraph, Timothy refers to chocolate as”one of the cheapest things in the STORY”.
Also, I didn’t guess who your characters were until one of them mentioned “Rogers”. Then I started to get an idea.
LikeLike
Haha, I’ll have to edit that. I think it’s supposed to be store. 😉 Thanks for pointing that out!
LikeLike
WHAT AN EPIC TYPO! I LOVE IT!!! 😀
LikeLike
Haha, I know! It was at least convenient…
LikeLike
X-P If only all my typos were like that… most of them were embarrassing…
LikeLike
As long as their not *ahem* inappropriate, I normally don’t mind too much. 😉
LikeLike
They’re not that inappropriate. Mostly. 0_0 Just weird.
LikeLike
*sniffle* This is amazing. It makes me want to see the Avengers movie.
LikeLike
😀 You should! These are actually minor characters from Captain America: The First Avenger. I wish they were in future movies, though. Dum Dum is the best. 😛
LikeLike
Yeah, I should. 😛
LikeLike
*cries* I saw “Captain America: The First Avenger.” And now this makes so much more sense. *sniffles* I need hugs….
LikeLike
*hug* I nearly cried while I was writing this, too. 😉
LikeLike
*sniffles* Poor Steve! And poor Howling Commandos!!!! *hugs back*
LikeLike
*sobbing* I need to write more fanfiction with them… Ooh, I remembered the name of the awesome doctor! Dr. Abraham Erskine. I remembered it in the shower…
LikeLike
Erskine. And his first name is Abraham? *fangirls* That is so cool!!! 😀
For some reason I’m becoming overly fond of the short story fanfiction format and drawing more portraits/doing more character studies than telling actual stories…
LikeLike
It’s addicting, I believe. 😉 I think it’s because it’s easier to use someone else’s characters than to make your own. I’m going to have to write another Howling Commandos short story soon, I think. 😉
LikeLike
Sometimes it is. Other times, it’s because we fall in love with other people’s characters and can’t resist writing about them. Some of them are very persistent and just demand “WRITE ME!” 😛
LikeLike
Haha, that too. 😉 Especially with awesome characters like Peggy and Howard Stark and Dum Dum… Hey, Marvel practically wrote fanfiction with them with the shorts they did. You should watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIdv78HLbW0 It’s an awesome little scene with Howard Stark and Dum Dum.
LikeLike
Yeah, except those are probably–probably–canon. 😛 It’s like an author writing a short story about what you didn’t see happening in the book… or it could be that the author was writing something that never quite happened. 😉
LikeLike
Yep! Like A Funny Thing Happened. That title is soo long. 😉 There’s one about Peggy. It’s called Agent Carter. It was pretty good. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1viter_marvel-one-shot-agent-carter-2013_shortfilms
LikeLike
Awwww!!! She is so awesome… I’m really sad about how they missed their date. :’-(
Yoikes… this reminds me a little of Connor, and I certainly didn’t make that intentional… Well, Connor ends up rather distanced from his family… at the end of the first book in his trilogy, he decides not to open the file on them when they find out who his family is. Which nicely sets up some of the conflict for the second book. 😉
LikeLike
Ooh, what is this from??
LikeLike
Colorblind trilogy. 😉 Well, that’s what I’m calling it for now. The sample chapters are up on my blog… The titles of the three books are “Colorblind,” “Black Light,” and “Ultraviolet Burn”. Though, maybe I should change the last one to just “Ultraviolet”?
LikeLike
Ooh, I like it!!! I think either one is good.
LikeLike
Thanks. 🙂 I’m enjoying Connor’s story quite a bit.
LikeLike
I bet! 😉
LikeLike
It’s fun. 🙂
LikeLike